HAPPY CHIRSTMAS! (And happy early Boxing Day!)
May all your pudding be figgy and all your halls be decked!
-Alice :)
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
I can't not post this...
Okay, so I'm posting number four, writing my Christmas Boredom Corner, writing my NaNoNovel (yes, still) and writing number four. OH and a short story, but I was procrastinating and found THIS. And honestly, I really want to live in Australia now:
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website, and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville, and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Australia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is ... oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville, and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Australia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is ... oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in America, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in America, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Ppppppft...
-Alice :)
Friday, December 9, 2011
*shrugs* I like this poem...
Also, novel: still not done (and I'm totally out of NaNoWriMo mode.)
*sighness*
Anyways though, I DO happen to like this poem...
So, here:
-Alice
*sighness*
Anyways though, I DO happen to like this poem...
So, here:
An empty room
But with me and you
It felt so warm and full
Now bittersweet
We taste the defeat
Of the life we used to know
Like smoke from a fire
Now burnt out
Glitter in the air
Blows through your hair
Light shines on your face
Helped me feel in place
Next to you
I’m not confused
Lost or hurt
Memories from the past leave dirt
Streaking down our cheeks
Cluttering our thoughts
We helped each other
Wash it off
But like stardust raining down
Everything eventually has to
Hit
the
ground
the
ground
Lost in a fantasy
You made me believe
Everything just might
Be alright
That the fight
I couldn’t last
Even if I tried my best
Might go away
If I would only say
The word
Like a leaf
Blown away
Gone tomorrow
Here today
Happily ever after
Doesn’t
quite
exist
quite
exist
Or so I’ve come to know
The way we think it does
In books and movies
They use it
Just to make you smile
In this broken world
If just for a little while
We’re breakable
Like porcelain dolls
Because
Just when we think
We’ve built up walls
With a single blow
Something simple
Like a flake of new-fallen snow
To the ground
They come crashing
Down
Down
Down
Down
Down
In the blink of an eye
You were gone
Slipping away
Like the setting sun
I could almost see it coming
And I should have been running
But who can outrun the world?
Words stick out
Bold on your pale skin
Ink stains on your body
No longer blend in
To your creamy complexion
The past comes back
It catches up to you
When you least expect it
It takes cunning
It takes wit
To avoid it for even a second
And together we could
And together we stood
Us against the world
Until I found out
What exactly happily ever after
Is about
And that it
Isn’t
quite
true
quite
true
Now I’m just
An empty room
Nothing without you
The walls that surround me
Hide me and
Keep me all alone
Separated
Sequestered
In the worst possible way
From you
And the world
Just me, myself, and my mind
Or what
Happens to be left of it
The walls that were once so full
Of pictures
Words
Written and spoken
Furniture
And so much more
But now you’re gone
I’m left alone
Just me and these four walls
Nowhere to hide
From myself
And what I am inside
A string that slipped through my hands
I thought it would never end
And yet, here I am
Repeating these same words
Through my head
Figuring out
The truth about
Happily
ever
after
Still attempting to repress inner-editor (and failing,)ever
after
-Alice
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Here is the song I've had STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR TWO DAYS NOW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64
Sure, it's a good song. But it's getting old.
(Random person: Let's get down to business! Me: TO DEFEAT, THE HUNS! Person: O.o)
I'm going to go watch Mulan now,
-Alice
Sure, it's a good song. But it's getting old.
(Random person: Let's get down to business! Me: TO DEFEAT, THE HUNS! Person: O.o)
I'm going to go watch Mulan now,
-Alice
Friday, December 2, 2011
Look at this!
This looks a LOT like Cinni and Salem and the setting is right! Cover picture anyone?
It's soooo cool, isn't it? I love it, for one. ^^
Je ne sais quoi,
-Alice :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)