A REAL blog entry: 2/15

Well, it occured to me that since this is a blog, I should actually be talking about stuff going on in my life right now, not that anybody reads it or anything, but still. At I least I can rant to myself.
Well, as you may know, yesterday was Valentine's day, and, as the hopeless romantic that I am, I don't really mind Valentine's day. The problem is that my friends all think that Valentine's day is stupid and commercial (which it is) but the sad part is, even if it IS commercial, some people are still trying to just let it be a day of love.
You know? The problem is, if people would just do random acts of love (like sending your girlfriend or wife flowers, or planning a fancy dinner and movie date) throughout the year, this holiday wouldn't be so commercial. Am I right?
I think Valentine's day IS commercial, but doesn't have to be and it's kind of stereotyping everyone into a broad generalization, saying that.
I guess, the people not reading this, but I seem to be talking to you anyway, that you're expecting some cute, fluffy story about MY Valentine's day, right?
...An...anybody? No?
Yeah, well, you got that right. I didn't even post anything especially fluffy on yesterday. I DID, however, get pizza and cheesecake, which makes me entirely too happy (especially considering I should probably be doing yoga, NOT sitting here writing this.)
Some of my friend even called it 'Death Day' I think or 'Doom Day.'
Speaking of my friends, nobody, I don't know why, but I'm feeling really lonely lately. Usually, when people treat me like I'm invisible (as they do most of the time) it just rolls off my back, but lately, I've just been depressed.
It seems like my old group of a few friends are finding a lot of new friends who seem to only tolerate me when my old friends around. Even some of my old friend pretty much ignore me now.
It seems like we never have a conversation involving everyone anymore. It's really sad. It's like...we're growing apart, into different groups of friends and everyone has a group to go to...except me...
I don't know why I'm wallowing in self-pity like this. That's not usually me, but I can't help feeling kind of bad. I just wonder...you know...am I really that awful?
I'm kind of a people pleaser, and you'd think people might want me around, even just to get me to do stuff, but usually they just kind of...well...I'm invisible to most people.
I have to work REALLY hard to get in on a conversation these days. When I got a cell phone for my past birthday, I thought, maybe, I'd be a little more....you know...connected. But actually, it just seemed to get worse.
*sighs* Sorry, for going down there, but I just...I have a really really little self-esteem, and I've been in my emo-hate-myself-I-suck corner entirely too much lately.
I mean, when I'm in math class, I've been struggling a little lately (more than usual) because when I ask for help from the people at my table, they're, like 5 problems ahead of me and don't want to help because I'm holding them back. It just...make me wonder...
What did I do to make them all...suddenly start acting like I'm invisble? Or have the plague...
I dunno. It would be better if I could read people I suppose. But, today, I was just sick of everyone ignoring me and really depressed. *sighs* *shrugs*
...next subject...
Did you know that this week is "Random Acts Of Kindness" week? I don't know if it's national or what, but my school, at least is doing it. We're supposed to be nominating people for doing random acts of kindness. But, I agree with my friend when she said that how can random acts of kindness be, well, random when we're monitering them??? EXACTLY!
It's like when my youth director, Todd, (not that Todd. Todd: Bonjour. Me: Yeah, not HIM the OTHER Todd.) started saying that love depends on such and such and had this theory all laid out.
I just...don't get that. Love isn't a formula. It can't be solved by math, or by science. Love just...is. It's amazing, it's spontaneous, it's unpredictable, it's heart wrenching, it's beautiful, love...makes the world go round.
Speaking of love, I also don't get why some church's don't let gay guys in. What the heck? I thought we were supposed to be the loving, caring, open ones? What happened?
You know, when the bible says we're made in God's image, that means, guys, girls, and gay guys and lesbians too! It is not a sin, it's love, and it's beautiful.
So what if they're a little different? Aren't we all? If we were all the same, the world would be entirely too boring.
Does anyone (whoops, forgot I'm talking to nobody. Ah, well...) know if gay marriage is legal anywhere? Sorry, just wondering...
Okay, new subject. The Egypt thing. Okay, so, like, Egypt, from what I've heard (not much) is having a really peaceful revolution. They're fighting for they're democracy...peacefully. How amazing is that?
Being the tree-hugger I am, I think we should totally take this example and use it. I'm not sure if that's all the story, but that's what I heard.
Then, the Grammys. I...I...well, I didn't watch them...so, why am I mentioning them?
...Beaver Boy.
I hate him with all my heart, and it's kind of hard for me to hate you. I spent the weekend avoiding the movie theatre at all costs because his new stupid, idiotic movie came out.
The reasons I hate him are:
-He's full of himself
-His favorite colour's purple (just another hint that he's gay and just won't come out. Which annoys me.)
-He sings like a girl.
The other night, I accidently Justin Beibered myself. I was listening to the radio on my MP3 player when this song came on, and I was like, 'wow, this chick sucks,' then I realized it was Beaver and through my headphones to the ground (which may, or may not of have broken them. Good job, Beiber, you screwed up my headphones. Thanks a lot.) and fell out of bed.
See how this is his fault?
I'm so stubborn, I refuse to add 'Beiber' to my computer's dictionary.
*sighs*
Ugh, so gym started back up on Monday and my legs are SOOOO sore. I took Advil, but it's not working. It hurts to walk and move and everything. We're doing basketball which isn't exactly the sport to play if you're uncoordinated. (Like me.) So far we're just doing show-off-y tricks that only work when you know HOW to play. Stupid.
Ooh, well, just a few weeks ago, I got a gold on my band-music-solo-competition!!! =D My mom got me roses, but now they're kind of dead...yeah...
Well, there's a new Glee on tonight (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!), and I still have to do yoga. (Meh...)
So, I guess I'll go now. I finally perfected (ish) my signature. I kind of like it.
Anyways, this ends my first normal blog entry.
Smile some, laugh more, love the most.
Rock on.
-Alice (Ally) Rocker (: